You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen... Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen....but do you recall.... Eli and Shaniqua?

I'd like to tell you all a little story. Now I'm not a history major... in fact, I never really liked history... so I apologize in advance for any historical inaccuracies I may write. Anyway, the story starts out sometime between when Christopher Columbus discovered America and the American Revolution. Large gap, I know. Needless to say, there were a bunch of very sad people in a small village known as Europe. Why were they sad, you ask? Because the Man got them down. This time, the Man forbid them to practice their own religion. They were forced to practice the religion of whatever it was the Man believed in. Not cool. Not cool. Well, finally these "Europeans" had enough and decided to head on over to the New World so they could practice whatever religion they wanted. Protestant, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, whatever religion actually celebrates Kwanza.... here in the New World, they could believe in whatever god they wanted to, and do so in whatever fashion they wanted. And it was this separation of "church and state" that our government was founded on all those years ago. Or at least, that's how I remember it from my US History class.

Fast forward to 2005. Our country is still based on the same principles and guidelines from when the nation was first conceived. Or is it? This country has become so damn "Politically Correct" that while we all think we have freedom of religion, the line between freedom and.. umm... well, whatever the opposite of freedom is... has been greatly blurred.

So your probably wondering by now, where my ranting comes in. Right here.

Target stores have decided, most likely due to threats from some anti-catholic fuck-heads, not to celebrate Christmas this year. No where in there stores will you find the word "Christmas" because people who don't celebrate Christmas are "offended", or probably just pissed that their religion isn't in as visible in the public eye. So, thanks to them, no Christmas in Target. Now, I could give two shits about what target does, but here's my problem: don't people realize that the stores cater to Christmas because it sells. Businesses are all about making money, so naturally, around Christmas time, people are going to need to buy Christmas gifts. It would be natural for a store to have "Christmas" signs up, wouldn't it?

The majority of people in the US are catholic and celebrate Christmas. I know people that aren't catholic that celebrate Christmas. It's become less of a religious holiday, and more of a national, I buy you presents, you buy me presents holiday. So what is the big fucking deal that you can't advertise Christmas in stores, or even some schools (like my mom's school)? Having people try to take away Christmas from the public eye is like a white guy walking into The Bronx and demanding they take down their Puerto Rican flags because it "offends him" and his non-Puerto Rican heritage. Last time I checked there's still a fucking Puerto Rican Day Parade.... in the US. So if they're allowed to cause massive amounts of traffic one day out of the year in NY, why do Christians have to shut up about Santa Claus? A fucking fictional fat guy that gives out toys to little kids.

I didn't want to turn this into a religious debate, because I'm all for believing in whatever religion you want. My point here is that people are fucking assholes, and they're trying to take away our freedom of religion. If they want to throw a dreidel next to Santa, go ahead. They have every right to. Just as much a right as Catholics do to sing Christmas carols and talk about flying reindeer. People need to stop being update and just learn to live alongside everyone else and everyone else's religion. End of story. So Merry Fucking Christmas, assholes. And have a Happy Chanukah and a Jolly Kwanza while you're at it, too. Because it's your right as an American citizen.

No news is.... no news

Ok, so I know I haven't been keeping up with this too much lately, but I will. I promise. Not getting done now, though I could probably just type whatever comes to my mind for the next 20 minutes or so. But I'm tired. So I shall sleep.

LiveSTRONG and Prosper

First off, I want to start this post with a disclaimer. I do not hate our troops, but rather, I support them and what they're doing for our country. I do not think cancer is funny, and my heart goes out to all those who have lost loved ones or know someone who has cancer. My family lost a dear friend in my dad's law partner not too long ago, so I know firsthand that this topic is not a laughing matter. But if I did learn one thing from him, it's that life is too short to not have fun. He was a giant kid until the day he died, cracking jokes at everything and anything. With that out of the way, let me continue my rant.....

Those mother fucking car-magnet ribbons have got to go. Am I the only one that realizes they're not being displayed for the reasons they were originally made for. Now, I'm not an expect on this topic, nor do I claim to be, but the first time I noticed these ribbons were to support 9-11. Everyone had flag magnets and then ribbons with support our troops, blah blah.. you know what I mean. I'm not sure if these came before or after the plethora of "cause-head" ribbons, but they all came out at around the same time to show support. Alright. I'll buy it... makes sense. But then, as if there was some mandate that went out (which I never got, mind you) saying you're not an American citizen unless you support some cause and display it proudly on your car, everyone and their mother (including mine) had some kind of magnet ribbon. I've seen everything. Cancer, support your troops, autism, gay pride, dog rescue supporters (yes, I've seen it), you name it, there's a ribbon for it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for supporting a cause if you have a reason to support it. But, correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you think these ribbons lose a little bit of their credibility and .. I don't know... I can't think of a better word... but come on... I saw these ribbons being sold at convenience stores in new york city. Doesn't that say something, people? This is nothing but a fad that needs to die out. Soon.

I'd honestly love to take a survey of all of the people that have these ribbons on their car. I want to know how many of these people actually have any reason to be supporting these causes. Not that they can't support a cause, but do they really have to have a ribbon on their car? For example.... my mom has an autism ribbon on her car. The reason for having this ribbon is because she's a special education teacher. Makes sense... I suppose. Two questions, though. What is she exactly saying by putting the ribbon on her car. I'm sure 90% of the people that see that magnet think one of her kids has autism. So great... she's riding around making people think I'm autistic. Awesome. See my point here? No point. Exactly. I concur. Glad you agree.

These magnets are just a fad. An annoying fad that allows anyone to openly show support for a cause they probably have no right showing open support for. Take for example a conversation I had with someone recently:

Me: "Why do you have that support cancer ribbon on your car?"

Supporter: "Oh... I totally support it. My aunt's second cousin's son's best friend died of testicular cancer last year. "

Me: "What do you support about cancer, though? Why do you want people to be made aware?"

Supporter: " I just, you know support it. I want them to find a cure. It's sooo bad. They don't have a cure yet. It's so sad, too."

Me: " Oh, right... I see... Actually, fucko, the only ribbon you should have is a ribbon supporting retards... cause you're a fucking retard. Go fuck yourself.


Ahem.

Now I don't know if I really made a coherent point in all of this lunacy, but I sure hope I did. Which brings me to my next point (which I promise I'll make a little more brief): Livestrong bracelets. AHHHHHH. I'm like a tornado of anger, swirling about. These yellow fuckers are a little bit better, but at the same time, a little worse than the magnets. Better: At least when buying the cute little piece of rubber you're making a donation. I can appreciate that. Worse: At their height of popularity, they were more commonly found on people's wrists than herpes on a 10 cent whore. It's one thing to make a donation for a cause you believe in and want to support... it's another thing to buy one of these things just because everyone else has one and it's the "cool" thing to do. It's a fucking travesty is what it is. Now I'm sorry if I offended anyone who bought one of the wristbands... and I'm sure a lot of you bought them because deep down you wanted to donate and show support. But I know for a fact that there are enough people in the world that want to fit in; what better way to do so than by buying one of those puppies. Now, Tommy Pocket Protector can have something in common with Johnny Football Star. Hey, lookie here, they both support cancer by wearing a yellow piece of rubber. Give me a fucking break.

Don't think I'm some guy who hates everyone who buys these magnets or who has a Livestrong bracelet, because if you do think that, chances are, I actually hate you, because you're a fucking idiot. No, I think it's great that people have a cause to support and want to actually support something. However, the point that I'm trying to make (or maybe failing to make) is that I don't think that the majority of the people that buy these things are doing it with true sincerity. I think it's a bunch of crap that people are buying simply because they think it's either the right thing to do, or because of the age-old "everyone else is doing it, so why can't I?" That sort of thing. Maybe I'm wrong. I'd love to be wrong. I usually am wrong. But this time, I don't think I am.

Not Too Much Ado About Nothing

Annnndddd... I'm back. This time, though.. I don't really have an agenda (not like that's really stopped me from writing before).

Actually.. it was suggested that I should write about how I have nothing better to do with my time. First off... Fuck you, Gabe. Second of all... It's not like I spend a shitload of time on this. So HA!!

Well, now that that's cleared up... I still have nothing else to talk about. I do want to create one post that will list a whole bunch of bands I've discovered (or other people have discovered and I've taken a liking to), not to mention giving you a chance to share bands yourself. There are a lot of great bands out there, and since you can't really discover these bands on the radio (unless you're lucky enough to get good reception for 89.5 WSOU, which may be one of the best radio stations for discovering new bands in the punk, emo, screamo, hardcore, heavy metal, hard rock, blah blah blah... whatever genre's fall into those categories these days). Going to concerts and learning of bands through word of mouth is a wonderful thing. There's been a number of bands I've discovered this way (some of which, unfortunately, getting mainstream noteriety and sacrificing their music for popularity and money... sucky). So yeah... look out for that in the next few weeks (Could you tell I like to use parenthesis?).

Cell Phones = Lighters?? NO!!!

One of the first things I needed to express my disdain for on this blog is the trend I've been seeing at concerts lately. What's that? The fact that I'm usually the oldest one there? No... not that trend, but that probably has something to do with it. I'm talking about the acceptance of the "cell phone lighting" to help out with the "mood" of a slow song. It is unacceptable.

Let me paint the picture for you a little. We've all seen it before: Band plays slow song. Fans hold up lighters for added ambiance. Fans happy. Band Happy. Awesome.

Now... imagine if you will, a new breed of band and fan who no longer see the need for using lighters. Instead, fans find it acceptable to whip out their cell phone, pop it open, and BAM!, instant makeshift light. So instead of a nice scene with tiny flames dancing around, we have fucking little green screens glowing all over the place, engulfing the flames in their radioactive luminescence. What the shit?!?

One of the main reasons I think this has happened is because of the ever-growing social acceptance of technological advances. New technology has replaced old. Cell phones replacing fire. Now I'm all for technology and shit, but give me a fucking break? Oh yeah.... a cool cell phone just screams "Rock and Roll!! Badass!!" Not like a lighter does anyway. And it's usually younger fans of music too. They don't know the time honored tradition of holding up your lighter during that slow song. Fuck, they were practically born with cell phones in their hands.

I probably can't describe how much I hate this growing trend. I don't think I know enough words to verbally express my hatred and disdain for the damn cell phone at concerts. Who the fuck needs a cell phone at a concert, anyway? Leave it in your fucking car, you son of a bitch. What could you possibly need to discuss with someone while a concert is going on? "Hello? Hey Mike, it's Rob, can you hear me? WHAT? WHAT???? No, i can't hear you, either. Hello?? Hello? Dude, they're playing that song right now. THAT SONG!!! YEAH!! WHAT? HELLO?? I'LL JUST TALK TO YOU WHEN I GET OUT!" Give me a break. Just makes me mad.

While the ignorant fans are probably what started this lame trend, I can almost excuse them for not knowing any better. What I can't excuse is that bands that ASK FOR PEOPLE TO HOLD UP THEIR CELL PHONES!! Oh yeah... I've heard two now. Exhibit A.) The last, live track on Simple Plan's "Still Not Getting Any" album features the lead singer asking fans to display their cell phone screens during their chart-topping single, perfect. That song sucked anyway.... now not only does the song suck... they suck, and I lost whatever respect (albiet very little) I had for them. Exhibit B.) While at a Starting Line show, the lead singer, Ken (who I thought was a really cool guy who always seemed to be doing it for the music, but I was apparantly wrong after listening to their putrid new album, which contains the song, "It's All About the $"), asked fans to hold up their cell phones. I wanted to puke. I loved this band. It was almost like finding out there's no Santa Claus. Woops... did I just ruin that for someone? Sorry.

Just once, I want a band to grow some balls and scorn their fans for holding up cell phones. Fuck your fans... stick with your morals. If I could, I'd start a band just so I could write a slow song. Before I played that song at shows, I would start out with a disclaimer that stated if I saw anyone hold up their cell phones during the song, I would walk off stage and not return. Teach those fuckers a lesson.

You probably have some flaws in my rant, like..."If you hate little kids holding up their cell phones, then stop going to fucking pop punk shows, jackass" or "You say you're all about the music, but you listen to that shit? Fuck you, Russo." Well, valid points, both of them. I don't really have any arguments against them, other then "Hey, I like the music. It's not my fault it happens to be this decade's N'Sync." Which is really what pop punk music has become these days. I guess that's why they call it pop punk. Makes sense if you think about it.

Well... enough complaing for now. Just something that was really bothering me that I needed to get out there. I can't be the only one that feels this way, right?

Here We Go

And so it begins.....

One might ask, "Christian, why start a blog?", or "Is there any purpose to this?", or even "Where do babies come from?" There's a logical explanation to each one of these questions.

1.) I wanted to start a blog, basically to just rant on whenever the hell i feel like it. I've always wished I had some kind of weekly column writing in a newspaper or something like that, and this is about the closest thing I'll ever get to that. Sometimes my rants are pointless, sometimes they're funny. Either way, it's a good way for me to express how I feel on certain topics.... topics that have no relevance to anything whatsoever.

2.) No, other than to maybe make some people laugh. Those who don't laugh will probably want to gut me alive with a ball point pen simply for wasting their oh-so-valuable time. So yeah... no purpose.

3.) There comes a time when mommies and daddies fall madly in love with one another. This love is so overpowering, that they wish to bring a new being into existence. Now, let me warn you young readers out there, you may wish to skip this part of the entry for it is extremely graphic and messy. For those that wish to continue, read on. Once said mommy and said daddy decide that they want a child, they begin a ritual that is as old as time itself. This ritual beings by both mommy and daddy ripping off their clothes in a barbaric, savage manner, leaving them in their "birthday suits", if you will. Then, while still naked, they go off into the forest, making sure not to make a sound. It is this part of the ritual where they must stalk their prey: a small, helpless woodland creature. Once the animal is spotted, the mommy then pounces into action onto the animal and grasps it in her mouth her teeth. The man then bites onto the other side of the creature and the two pull in opposite directions, until the animal is torn asunder. What is left of this animal is then sacrificed to the Baby God named Re'Ba'Tutendrool. If the god is pleased with the offerings, he will grant the couple a child after 9 months of waiting and tourture. If he is not pleased, he may still take pity on the couple and grant them a child, but it may be "special", as they say in some circles. And that, my friends is where babies come from.

So I hope that answers you're questions for now. I also hope you don't think I'm some raving lunatic. Because that would be bad. Until next time, this is Russo, signing off.